Core flow of NVC

Owned by Eliot Muir
Last updated: Dec 29, 2022
1 min read

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) refers to the dance of connection refers to the steps taken to move toward connection. A simple mnemonic device is ABABAB, referring to person “A” and person “B.”

Here’s how “the dance of connection” works:

  1. Person A speaks with honesty from the heart.

  2. Person B reflects back their understanding of what Person A said.

  3. Person A confirms they were heard accurately.

  4. Person B speaks with honesty from the heart.

  5. Person A reflects back their understanding of what Person B said.

  6. Person B confirms they were heard accurately.

  7. Return to the top, to #1. This process is continued until the two people feel connected and they trust that they are understood by the other. Then they can proceed to brainstorm or propose strategies and/or solutions.

This is from PubbleDancer Press and would be described as formal NVC.

As a programmer I cannot help but notice this is a recursive algorithm . You end up going deeper and deeper down to the emotional core of the problems.

Reflecting back makes sense to me since it’s about receiving information and verifying that you understood.