Placing Demands On Others

In NVC we take responsibility for what we are wanting by expressing clear requests. In a request, the other person’s needs matter too, and so no is an option. In a demand, ‘no’ is not an option. In a demand, by definition, the other person’s needs do not matter equally to the person issuing the demand.

The reason this hurts relationships is that, if I am on the receiving end of demands it communicates that my needs don’t matter. This, in turn, leads to resentment and disconnection. Over time, it is quite likely that the needs of the person placing the demands cease to matter to the person on the receiving end.

Thinking of the nagging wife/husband or the demanding boss for a couple of stereotypes.