Empathy

An emotionally upset person is not in an equilibrium state.

By gently asking questions and listening - showing what is called empathy you can help another human being emotionally regulate.

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It’s like calming the neural circuitry to get out of a busy state

When someone gets upset, trying to solve the problem right away might not work. It's better to help them calm down first, by understanding and accepting their emotions. This is especially true when there's trust between people. Remember, emotions come before logic, so it's helpful to show that you understand how someone feels before trying to find a solution together.

Acknowledging someone else’s emotions is a good way to help them regulate first and then it becomes possible to rationally problem solve.

Imagine a kitchen with swinging doors. If both people push through at the same time, it can cause a mess. It's better for one person to step back and let the other go first. This way, each person can have their turn, either later in the conversation or in a future one. This helps avoid big fights and keeps the relationship healthy.